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Friday, December 17, 2004

The worst opening lines ever 

If you are a wannabe writer hungry for a life and career affirming award, I don't think you would crave to win The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, unless you're in for a good laugh. The goal is simple enough: come up with the worst opening lines for an imaginary novel.

The very first bad opening line ever cited was from Bulwer-Lytton's novel "Paul Clifford," although a lot of us probably know this as something that Snoopy said: "It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents--except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness."

Opening lines from the 2004 winners found here.

[link found via mefi]

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

James Ellroy's Dark Places 

The Onion interviews James Ellroy, writer of L.A. Confidential and The Black Dahlia, is commonly known for the "true crime" feel of his novels. Most of his novels were set in Los Angeles, and thus he "owns the place." He quotes Joan Didion about a writer's mastery of milieu: "A place belongs to the writer who claims it most obsessively."

Writers also usually find themselves writing about more or less things of a similar nature: "The books are inextricable from me, and I repaid my debt to my mother when I wrote My Dark Places. I copped to exploiting her death to sell books for The Black Dahlia. Still, cherchez la femme: Look for the woman. There are always these unsolved murders of women coming back to bite me on the ass." In his case, the unsolved murder of his own mother figures largely in his writing of "The Black Dahlia," a novel which also deals with a controversial Hollywood murder in the 50s. The guilt is there, but there are other ways for atonement.